Sizing Info


MUGS
Our mugs hold 11 oz. of strong coffee and 0 oz. of any other drink. If you live in a civilized country, that’s 350mils. This is a medium coffee for us screwball Americans and probably a large for the rest of the world. We are uncertain how to translate this into the Starbucks sizing system. Our research division is looking into it.

The mugs can also hold pencils, but you’d better come correct if you want to pull a sly move like this. We prefer Dixon Ticonderoga pencils. They use cedar wood, and the mugs like how they smell.

A guy told me the mugs hold tea just fine. Good for him.

CAPS
Our hats come with a nifty buckle on the back so you can adjust the size. They fit my fat head, so they’ll probably fit yours! If you doubt us because you have some righteous hair or serious brain capacity (or both), we sympathize. I’ve bought an adjustable cap that didn’t fit my head. No joke. So we feel you. BIG HEAD SOLIDARITY! But trust us: the hat will fit and you will get all kinds of compliments from your friends.

These hats are unstructured and affectionately called “dad hats.” If you’ve ever said the word “chillwave” out loud, this is the hat for you. But be careful: the dads don’t know we call it a dad hat. Let them stay happy in their dad obliviousness.

TOTES
Our totes are about 14 inches square (35cm). They’re big enough to hold vinyl records, a beach blanket, 1 to 2 clumsy puppies, or 137 Kit-Kats, although not at the same time. All this, however, does sound like the start of a great party, so if you want to pull it off, buy at least 2 totes so the puppies and chocolate stay separate. Think of the puppies.

SHIRTS
Our shirts come in unisex (box) and women’s cuts. If you’re a dude and have no clue what a box cut means, rest assured that it is the same as any other nice t-shirt you’ve purchased in your life. We’ve chosen shirts with lightweight, soft, high-quality cloth.

UNISEX CUT
Bella + Canvas 3001 Unisex Short Sleeve Jersey T-Shirt with Tear Away Label

Size Guide (width × height)

  • Small: 18 × 28in | 46 × 71cm
  • Medium: 20 × 29in | 51 × 74cm
  • Large: 22 × 30in | 56 × 76cm
  • XL: 24 × 31in | 61 × 79cm
  • 2XL: 26 × 32in | 66 × 81cm
  • 3XL: 28 × 33in | 71 × 84cm
  • 4XL: 30 × 34in | 76 × 86cm

As you can see, these shirts have a modern fit and run a tiny bit smaller than many others. We like it that way, but if you’re in doubt, size up. You can find more details about the shirt on the Bella+Canvas website.

WOMEN’S CUT
Anvil 880 Ladies Ringspun Fashion Fit T-Shirt with Tear Away Label

Size Guide (width × height)

  • Small: 17.25 × 25.5in | 44 × 65cm
  • Medium: 19.25 × 26in | 49 × 66cm
  • Large: 21.25 × 27in | 54 × 69cm
  • XL: 23.25 × 28in | 59 × 71cm
  • 2XL: 25.25 × 28.5in | 64 × 72cm

You can find more details about the shirt on the Anvil website.

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This concludes the sizing document. Thank you for reading. Now go buy something so I can restock on Kit-Kats. I have a plan.